SHARK!

Hey Guys...Anybody else out there struggle with Self Control?

That has been identified as an area of growth in my house. Ironically it was my nine year old that came up with a great plan. We often fight over homework... He doesn't want to do it, I get mad, He gets mad, we yell, we both feel bad.

He had the idea that whenever we feel like we are losing it... beginning to let that ugly old flesh rear it's head, we yell SHARK! He is brilliant. A shark has big teeth, it is really scary and if don't watch out it might eat you. What do we do when we yell shark?

• We Stop - we don't say another word... not even a grunt!
• We Hear - what are we saying? What does it sound like?
• We Ask - What is going on? What is broken in me that I'm losing it?
• We Relax - take a deep breath, walk away, give ourselves a time out... whatever we need to do.
• We K - K(C) Communicate - okay I'm a dork but whatever - we talk about it.

If we follow this pattern, then before the shark eats one of us... we given ourselves the opportunity to get away. We've stopped and allowed the Holy Spirit to work in us and resuce us from the temptation to let the yelling match begin.

Self Control is not the ability to control yourself, for me it is understanding when you are losing control and surrendering that feeling to the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to work in you... growing you and guiding you. By the way, this can be applied to every area in which we are tempted to lose control; yelling, eating, shopping, gossiping...

So what do you do? How do you approach self control? Do you recognize when you are out of control? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.

Watching God Provide

"... your Father knows what you need before you ask him." Matthew 6:8

The truth of this verse has struck me over and over lately. As I have thought back over the last few years I've noticed a recurring trend... God's provision. How? Well, He has moved people into our lives who love and care about our son. He has provided advocates... they have shown up in the form of teachers. I see God choosing specific people who have taken active roles in teaching, coaching, and counseling us as we navigate each grade. I have been awed by two women in particular who have invested great amounts of time, energy and effort into helping my son. I can not imagine what the last few years would have been like without Ms. Lesley. Her loving and nurtuing heart has been a true blessing. I believe that long before we ever stepped foot in school, God had already put this lady in place. He knew what we needed long before we ever prayed about it. Our teacher this year is awesome... she is understanding, and totally dialed in.

What amazes me is the details. So many details and yet with every need that arises there He is... providing and guiding. That's God. And you know what... my son see's it too. He recognizes how blessed he is... And he realizes how important it is to have an adovcate... he also knows that his number one advocate is not his mother, father or teachers... it is God! God is revealing himself to my son as we walk this journey. That is priceless!

As you think back over your journey where do you see God's provision? Where has He met your need? Where has He shown himself faithful? I'd love to hear your stories. I believe one of the most important things we can do is share what God has done and is doing in our lives. It builds our faith, and it reminds us to constantly look for God in every situation we encounter.

Welcome!

It’s a boy!

Next to my wedding day the birth of my two sons has to be the best two days of my life. Without a doubt the Lord has given me two precious treasures in my boys. Born less than 3 years apart, they are the light and joy in our home. They are funny, witty, and full of unconditional love for me and their dad. They are the best of friends, and sometimes the worst of enemies. With those two around there is never a dull moment, never a quiet one anyway, and never a clean floor.

I had no idea that day in the hospital all those years ago what lay in-store for me as a parent. I only knew that God had given me two children… both perfect (all 10 fingers and toes) and healthy.

As the years went by I began to notice that my oldest son was having issues learning. I thought the social challenges and learning struggles were because of his age… after all he was only in preschool two days a week plus the one day during the week I spent at church. Surely he would mature and grow out of this “phase”. But… as Kindergarten started the issues returned. This time the school began to take notice. They began a speech program to help him with the delayed speech. It helped but he was still struggling to learn the sounds letters make… still having difficulty paying attention (as if a Kindergartener is supposed to pay attention). 1st grade came and went. We had the same challenges that by this time we were blaming on the fact that he was “all boy”. He would grow out of it… but just in case…

At my request, the school began to test for different learning disabilities. We discovered a processing disorder and there was this pesky issue of a short attention span. We began tutoring and the school stepped up with a special program of their own. By the end of second grade it was becoming obvious the inability to pay attention was not something he would grow out of… it was the way his brain was wired. I still held out the hope that another summer of growing would change all that… I think that is called denial.

I guess I wasn’t exactly shocked when less than 2 months into the 3rd grade the IEP teacher approached me and made one simple statement as lovingly as she could. “I’m worried about your son… it has been over three years and the situation is not improving. I think it is time that we do some more testing.”

Maybe it was that moment that pushed me to the office of an expert in learning disorders. I was sick of guessing, I was sick of wondering… I wanted an answer. The doctor took one look at the summary of tests the school had run and said… your son is ADHD. That I had heard of… At least now it had a name… it was no longer a suspicion, it was a reality. A reality is something we can face, it is a challenge we can deal with… and I guess that is what brings me to this blog today.

I spent years denying, downplaying, excusing, and just plain old ignoring the obvious. I know I’m not alone. More and more children these days are facing the same issues. If it isn’t ADD or ADHD, it is another learning disorder or autism. As I have shared my journey with other women I’m learning there are a whole bunch of us out there going through the same thing. I’ve been blessed that this year God specifically placed me in a group of women that have walked this road or are walking this road. They have been willing to share with me the lessons they have learned through this process and they have encouraged me. If there is one thing I know with all my heart it is this… God wants us to help one another. He wants us to encourage one another. He wants us to draw strength and insight from our friends… and that is what this blog is all about. It is about walking this road together.

It is my prayer that God would use this website to encourage you… to give you a place to share your story, to give us a place to “talk” about the issues we face as mothers of children with learning challenges. But more than that, I pray that as we share we grow in the knowledge that God handpicked us to be mothers of amazing kids. Our children are His blessing on us and His gift to us. Ultimately they are His and only on loan to us.

We would love to hear from you, to learn from you, and to encourage you. This is a place where you can share. I believe it always helps to talk. If you would like to leave a comment just click the comment link below.

May God Bless you and your family… may we remember to be especially thankful for the precious heritage entrusted to us!

XO,

CJ